Fuck buddies: the rules and etiquette

Having a fuck buddy can be a fantastic experience, but there are plenty of rules to follow to ensure it doesn’t turn into a nightmare. Let’s take a look at the key fuck buddy guidelines you need to remember.

Lay the ground rules

It’s vital to have rules in place when you have a fuck buddy relationship. Everyone is different, and this is a particular type of relationship that needs to be very clear at the outset. Establish your rules, and ensure that you both know them and stick to them. The idea of having a regular casual sex partner is that you have fun – nothing more. And having those rules in place will set the boundaries for everything else. Without them, you risk turning the experience into something else entirely.

No feelings with fuck buddies

Having a fuck buddy is about enjoying sex, not starting a romantic relationship. If you are susceptible to developing feelings for people you have sex with, a fuck buddy could be a bad idea, as it will likely end in tears. You have to approach this in a way that your feelings and emotions are left at the door, or you will end up breaking the golden rule of fuck buddies: never fall in love. That’s not to say that some fuck buddies don’t become romantically entwined – they do. But it’s at this point when the relationship changes into something else and you aren’t fuck buddies anymore, and it definitely doesn’t happen often. The way to ensure this doesn’t happen is simple: be open and honest, and if you start to develop feelings, discuss it. You’ll either move onto a deeper relationship, or you’ll have to break it off before someone gets hurt.

Remain buddies

First and foremost, you are friends, so always keep it that way. As we discussed earlier, sexual encounters can cause problems with relationships, and it’s no different for people who enjoy having casual sex with friends. Be open, honest, and nice to your friend, and enjoy your time together – but that’s it. No romantic texts, no jealousy, and keep it casual.

Always use protection

It should go without saying, but it’s essential that you use protection while sleeping with your fuck buddy. The consequences are too great if you don’t. An unwanted pregnancy, for example, could lead to you being drawn together as a couple for all the wrong reasons. STDs are a big issue, too. Don’t’ forget, being a fuck buddy is not like being in a standard relationship. You will be seeing other people, and often sleeping with them. And using protection is the only way you can guarantee you don’t pick up – or spread – nasty conditions.

Unleash your sex fantasies

Having a fuck buddy gives you a fantastic opportunity to unleash your personal sex fantasies – so make good use of your time! As long as you have established rules, you are with someone you trust. This means you can talk about anything, and won’t have the same pressures or potential embarrassments that come with dating.

Keep it simple

It’s vital to keep things simple when you are in this kind of relationship. And let’s face it – why go through all the pain, hassle, and difficulties that will come if you overcomplicate things? Having a casual relationship is what it is – nothing more, nothing less. The average fuck buddy relationship lasts anywhere between a month and half a year. It’s vital to accept the fact that one of you will eventually move on, and once you start looking for more, it will send off the wrong signal.

Respect your fuck buddy

Respect is vital in any relationship, and it’s no different if you are going through a casual experience with a fuck buddy. Give the other person in the relationship space, and avoid trying to control them. At the same time, if you aren’t feeling it on any given day, let them know – don’t just refuse to answer their calls or texts. Just because there are no romantic emotions involved here, it doesn’t mean people won’t feel hurt.

Don’t mix fuck buddies and friends

Your fuck buddy should not have anything to do with your usual circle of friends. If you do introduce them to each other, it can become incredibly problematic. Once you start entwining your lives together, it can send out the wrong kind of message and end up getting messy. Keep your lives as separate as possible if you want to avoid someone getting hurt.

Stay opened for new experiences

Part of the reason why so many people enjoy having a fuck buddy is that the non-official status allows you to try out new things. There is no illusion about the carnal aspects here, right? It means you can be incredibly literal about what you want to do, whether that’s being more playful in bed or embracing some of your darker fantasies. These kinds of sexy games tend to seem less sexy when you are in a real relationship than with a fuck buddy, so make use of the experience while you can.

Don’t spend your night together

Finally, avoid spending the night with your fuck buddy as much as possible. Sure, there will be the odd occasion when it happens, but as a rule, you will be opening up the door for emotions to start sneaking in. It’s a purely sexual relationship – nothing more – never forget it. In fact, even post-coital cuddling can be an incredibly bad move. Again, it’s all about how you feel about each other, and those lightly more intimate, emotional moments after sex are a dangerous time if you want to control your feelings.

Conclusion

The fuck buddy phenomenon is not a new one. And for the most part, it can be fun, exciting, and sexy. However, unless you are aware of some of the issues laid out above, it’s possible for the dynamic to screw with your emotions. It can be hard to respect the line between friendship and flirting. If you start to develop feeling, or the other party does, it’s likely best to shut things down before someone gets hurt.

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